Notes on 2020
I debated writing this review because a lot of people were particular about cancelling 2020 seeing how much of a shit year it was. In conversation with friends, I discovered that people save reviews for the good years, the years filled with wins, trips or relationships. I absolutely do not believe in that. Reviews are for the good years, the bad years and even the terrible ones. You should feel absolutely no pressure to impress or inspire anybody. This is about you. Plus it's okay if you never want to share. Just write, read and reflect in your space. That being said, here I am again, just taking stock and spreading vibes. ( If you’re looking for serious writing. I’m not your guy o)
I wanted to write this review according to the cities I lived in during the year, but there were so many months on auto-pilot that I’ll just write around my favourite themes instead and put my favourite/ random pictures saved throughout the year.
Human stories
This year, I grew tired of reading fiction. Instead, I really wanted to explore human stories around feelings, love, beer, friendships and the most random things. I suffered from writer's block for the most part of the year but when the stories came, they came effortlessly.
From the legendary nights out in Agbani to discovering music while drunk in House 14 or musings about a soccer game. I also discovered a lot of great writing that helped me along my journey ( These recommendations deserve a post of their own- I should totally do a top ten reads of the year but you can find my early favourites in this post)
I look forward to infusing stuff like this into work for a brand. I believe in the power of human stories to unite us particularly in these very uncertain times. I am particularly pained that my go-to website for end of year reviews stories.ng is not hosting its regular review series. I understand that it was such a tough year but I still miss it. ( Update - They came through. Reviews available on stories.ng all through January.)
Hustle
My biggest fear in leaving work and going back to school was that I was going to miss an entire year of career progression ( didn’t know Covid was going to send a surprise and ensure I didn’t even finish school)
Omo, I don’t even know how to feel about this. I turned 24 this year and my life is still mostly vibes. I’m writing the regular fire captions, doing the hard work to get these content calendars over the line and spreading vibes in speeches for clients. But sometimes I catch myself feeling like a fraud. Like I am just making up stuff as I go without any real depth
Towards the end of the year, I got to the final stage of an interview for a job and the CEO kept saying; “so all you do is write? ” I got an offer after the interview but I never called back mostly because I thought I would have to travel to Enugu for school in January and I had to turn up every now and then in Lagos for the job. It was a good feeling knowing that my skills could get me a job but I couldn’t help being plagued by thoughts of inadequacy and being out of touch.
I think a big part of it is knowing when to take a break and just learn new stuff. I didn’t do a lot of that this year. I will spend the last days of 2020 reading my endless bookmarks, a book on writing and completing a course as atonement but I need to do more.
I can’t wait to get back to working and growing with a team. Working remotely with the opportunity to take random naps is great but nothing beats the diversity of clients, industries and tools when you’re working in an exciting team. I hope to leave my comfort zone in 2021 and truly stretch myself, learning to experiment and becoming a triple or quadruple threat professionally.
Despite these feelings, this year was not without growth, I segued ( I love this word and use it arbitrarily lol) from content writing to social media management, community building and online reputation management.
Thank you Chisim, for believing in me and gently guiding me on this journey with helpful resources and advice. Otiga for keeping in touch with interesting articles and exciting challenges. Major shoutout to everybody who recommended me for something or sent work my way this year. You kept the lights on ❤
Favourite project of the year- https://www.lojcompany.com/
Tough pick but defining the LOJ Company brand wins it. It was a challenge fitting so many things into one organization but we pulled it off. Also discovered that I do my best work with founders who have an understanding of what they want and are patient enough to allow us to achieve it. P.S For this project, I did web content + brand development & strategy
Dear Cupid- Lust & Therapy
I should scrap this section from future reviews because honestly, Cupid has tried for me, I am not just ready or willing to take a chance on myself.
That being said, I met someone very special this year. Conversations were effortless, the vibe was great, fights were opportunities to learn about each other and all of that sweet stuff. But ultimately, we wanted or needed different things. I have made peace with the fact that I cannot offer people the companionship and conversations that belong in a relationship without being open to the possibility of that happening. Warning them than I am just here for vibes or unwilling to explore a relationship does not absolve me of responsibility.
It also doesn’t stop you from feeling the loss that comes with not being able to call a person after talking non-stop for 2 months or so. It hits you mid-party in Ife when you are perched on the kitchen countertop in House 14 cradling a bottle of Vodka that tastes like your bad decisions.
I explored some of these feelings in my post to all the women I will never love- (I got offered paid therapy after this post, my siblings were at a loss for what was going on in my head, me too I don’t know half of the time)
I pride myself at being a very open person. I make jokes about myself, talk about my feelings and the entire works. Somehow, I have had people pause mid-conversation and tell me that even though I say a lot, I never really say or reveal anything about myself. this was a recurring theme this year and it’s definitely something to unpack in the right space.
I guess It’s living on the wild side in 2021 with no expectations even though I’m struggling to see if that is what I really want or need. Here’s to kissing strangers and looking for companionship in the wrong places.
New Beginnings
I am writing this bit the morning after my brother got married. It was a very satisfying experience to watch my personal wardrobe, gist and fight partner of many years become someone’ else’s headache biko. I’ll miss you Jerry, and I pray that God blesses your home abundantly. I hope to drop the step-kids over for playdates in the next few years, so you have some catching up to do. Love you bro.
Pro-tip- The Registry ceremony is the sweetest thing so here’s a short note I wrote while serving as a witness.
The Registrar has mastered the art of defeating routine to sell the happiness these couples deserve. Her sing-song voice turns what should be a chore after twenty years of doing the same thing into a heartwarming experience. Her eyes twinkle as she warns that you cannot enter another marriage while this one subsists. Her smile urges you on as you will a makeshift ring to fit on a finger you have chosen to cling to for a lifetime and her laughter makes you feel like you are part of an inside joke when you say you are saving your first kiss for later. The spell is never broken. Not even when she stops to pick a call mid-ceremony to announce in the most serious tone that she is in the middle of conducting a marriage. If anything, it makes you feel extra-special. When she tells you that she won’t be at the reception so you should drop whatever you have on the table. You find yourself emptying your pockets with a smile on your face.
Vibes
I started using Google Keep this year to organize my tasks and keep thoughtful quotes from the web. So I’ll just throw in a couple here for no reason.
“…let everything happen to you,
beauty and terror,
just keep going,
no feeling is final.”
Rainer Maria Rilke.
“There’s more to you than the things that want to kill you.”
Charles Isidi
And the most instructive one as you head into 2021;
“I have discovered that the reason God says “Write the vision and make it plain” is to reignite excitement on a weary journey, to quicken your steps when you’re getting tired in doing purpose…Take notes, make notes, journal, remember where you started, know where you’re going”
— Niyi Osidipe
Endings
2020 has been an incredibly tough year for so many people especially if you lost someone this year. It doesn’t get easier and words are never enough but I am saying a prayer for you and I want you to know that you’re not alone. Those who have left us now watch over us like stars in the dark, reminding us of our strength and purpose. ❤❤
